Samples of Paper # 2

Liam_________________

Lincoln

Essay #2

Belief as a Constant

Throughout the pages of Pete Hautman's Godless, we see various attempts and extrapolations concerning the religious struggle of its young, central characters. In their conquest for fun, personal identity, or something to call their own, the Chutengodian belief system is just as viable as any other religion, and acts as the foundation for the Chutengodians actions that precede its sudden creation. Although one could debate the quality of the faith of its members, Chutengodianism is just as much of a religion as any other, regardless of its shortage of members.

Despite its origins of teenage rebellion, Chutengodianism is developed rather similarly to how Christianity was, as a group of people broke away from Hinduism, refuting its tenets, and juxtaposed it with their own, monotheistic religion. Chutengodianism, to this end, is constructed around five central members, is monotheistic, and rejects the socio-political sphere of its domineering counterparts (in this case, the Catholics that are the predominant religious sect of their small town). Jason Bock describes the Ten-legged One, their deity, a water tower, as “[T]he Ineffable and Glorious Mystery of the Ten-legged One” (Hautman 29). Perhaps this ominous quality can be likened to the inability for human minds, as in Christianity, to comprehend the breadth and understand of God.

Likewise, the lore and architecture of any religion is not without its sacred text, like the Quran, Torah, or Bible; for the Chutengodians, it is their eponymously titled “Sacred Text.” And to validate the authenticity of the verses, the Chutengodians invoke only one writer, Shin, the First Keeper of the Sacred Text (this could perhaps imply that the text will continually pass down from Keeper to Keeper). That being said, the first few gospels acting as epigraphs for every chapter of Godless pose almost parallel similarities to the book of Genesis. However, the creation story and saga of the Ocean acts as the foundation for which the values, tenets, and commandments of Chutengodianism come into play. Even the notion of God being in all things takes form in the presence of the Ten-legged One, particularly in the scene where Jason is confronting his cousin, Jack Junior: “Horrified by my cultish fervor, Jack takes another step back and, with a huge splash, falls into the Ten-legged One's watery embrace” (48).

Subsequently, as a revolt against his Catholic oppressors, Jason and company formulate a loose set of commandments that, although constituting rules and stipulations, are not so strict to impose guilt or difficulty in upkeep, like how Henry was in a conversation on top of the water tower with Jason, “‘I got enough trouble dealing with the first ten’” (62). That being said, the Chutengodians (or perhaps just Jason) never cemented the commandments into fruition, but this could also go to show the flexibility with which Jason intended his religion to be: without strict limitations for sinful discourse. Granted, Henry, Mitch, Bobby, and Marsh ended up writing a list of six more commandments, but all to a degree of bleak sensibility that are perhaps too vague to follow more than just casually. Although, isn't that the purpose of a commandment: to be second nature, to be unconsciously ingrained, like a part of one's moral superego? To this end though, like many religions (such as Judaism, Islam, and Christianity), Chutengodianism additionally as a Sabbath day, which is a Tuesday, the most uneventful day of the week for Jason and company, and they partake of Wigglesworth's Magnum Brainblasters, which seem to be the epitome of the liquid communion the members all share.

Chutengodianism, based solely around its religious tenets, worships the essence and omnipresence of water as the source of life for all things, and like the Catholic Church being the lone benefactor or masthead for the small Indiana town Godless is based in, the water tower, or the Ten-legged One, functions as the Godhead for the Chutengodians. As its deification is being conceptualized, Jason realizes the scope of which it blesses his town by regaining all its usable water: “It was the biggest thing in town. Water from that tower was piped to every home and business for miles around. The water connected all of us. It kept us alive” (8). For its followers, the Ten-legged One is a respite from the rest of the world, a replacement and breaking away from the prolonged Catholic institutions that have been central to their town for so long. All religions, regardless of their current magnitude, were once the size of Chutengodianism, and every religion requires time and work to formulate its politically religious doctrine, and to germinate followers from there. A subtle tenet of Chutengodianism, likewise, is the hesitation of women (such as Magda) gaining positions of power, let alone membership, unlike the positions nonchalantly doted out by Jason to the rest of the members, all male. Perhaps this disparity propagates the values and differences between men and women in Chutengodianism, and like Christianity or Islam, the power and respect is unequally distributed.

Although the ending of Godless leaves more to be desired from what Chutengodianism could have become, its ideas and enthusiasm are not wholly forgotten. For all of its members, their time worshipping atop their church of the water tower, cleansing their filth from the heat of the summer, was something to be relished and remembered. But despite the baptism of its members and how it brought them all together, their faith (except Shin’s) was never really given the limelight, never spiritually examined. Perhaps the analogy of Henry falling off the water tower, “[F]eet splayed out toward the horizon,” is representation of how no one, not even the creators of the religion, could comprehend or surmount faith to a thing, a deity, so far beyond their current understanding (122). In the end, no one ever really believed in Chutengodianism as anything other than a joke or a fun time, and although it is questionable as a full-fledged religion in comparison to its predecessors, the tenets for which it needed to be founded upon are all there, waiting for devotion.

Word Count: 1028

Work Cited

Hautman, Pete. Godless. Simon Pulse, 2004.

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Susan________________

Prof. Tricia Lincoln

ENG 271

A House Divided: An Analysis of Cultural Values in A Step From Heaven

In her riveting novel A Step From Heaven, author An Na portrays the difficulties of a Korean family adjusting to an American lifestyle. Although the Park family moves to America with hope for a brighter future, they are unable to find opportunities for success. Our protagonist, Young Ju, initially believes that America will be a heavenly place to live; however, she is uncomfortable in this new environment, particularly with a father who refuses to leave his Korean standards behind. Throughout these vignettes, Young Ju and her family demonstrate the extreme disconnect between Korean and American values, proving that one can never fully integrate into a new society and leave their former values behind them.

Young Ju's father, Apa, harbors misconceptions about American values and the manner in which women should be treated as a result of being isolated from Western culture, creating a hostile environment around Young Ju and her mother and brother. When Uhmma brings baby brother Joon home from the hospital, Apa looks upon him admirably, proclaiming that Joon will make him proud and be very successful someday. Young Ju, jealous of the attention that her family is giving her baby brother, pipes up and says that she could be president, too; however, Apa points at her and "He laughs. You are a girl, Young Ju" (38). Apa's cavalier attitude towards females, even at the beginning of the story and their time in America, demonstrates the harbored feeling of superiority over others that Apa learned growing up in Korea. Young Ju's Uncle Tim quickly assures Young Ju that "in America, women can do almost anything that men can do" (39), but his soothing, truthful words do little to comfort Young Ju, who is immediately crushed by Apa's lack of compassion towards her, as "his words do not make the hurt in my heart go away. The cut of Apa's laugh is still open...Apa did not even want to hold me" (39). Apa and Uncle Tim are utilized in this passage as a juxtaposition of cultural differences; Apa represents the masculine-dominant, totalitarian attitude towards treating women and children in Korea, while Uncle Tim represents the equality and fair treatment in America, where all people should be treated with respect and kindness. From the context of the story, women and children are viewed as inferiors to men in Korea, and equals in America. An Na seems to imply that all Americans have equal opportunity for success. Apa creates a mantra for himself and firmly believes that "In this world, only the strong survive. Only the strong can make their future. If you cry and whine like a girl, who is going to listen to you...If you talk like a man, fight like a man, you will get what you want in this world" (68). Apa is partially correct in believing that only the strong can make their future; however, Apa continually contradicts his own beliefs about success when he fails to provide for his family and lets his temper and alcoholism create a dangerous home life for the family. If Apa truly believed that only the strong survive and that he epitomizes this belief, he would be more aligned with American values and understanding that it takes hard work and patience to climb the ladder of success and achieve one's dreams.

As a four-year-old at the genesis of the story, Young Ju mistakes "Mi Gook" for heaven, creating high expectations for herself and her family as they journey to America. After realizing that America is not the heaven she had in mind, Young Ju immediately dislikes her new surroundings and the way of life that Americans lead. Her attitude towards America changes abruptly when her mother forces her to cut her hair and curl it in the "Mi Gook" style, in order to make a fresh start in America. Young Ju, at four years old, has a lack of understanding as to why she must adapt to fit the standards of a new culture, thinking "I am too old to change. I do not want to be a Mi Gook girl" (18). Even when she begins school in America, Young Ju looks around and sees that none of the other girls have hair like hers. Young Ju's age and maturity limits her from seeing the world through other points of view and cannot yet comprehend her life beyond the present, as she remarks that "I do not like the word school. Uhmma and Apa say school is my future. I do not like the word future. Everything is in the future" (28). Her thoughts at age four are still in the egotistical stage of cognitive development, where she has difficulty understanding why these changes in her life are occurring and that she should be grateful for the opportunity to move to Mi Gook. Uhmma explains to Young Ju that "We are going to Mi Gook so you can have the very best education. So someday you will be better than a fisherman's wife" (18). Here, Uhmma implies that she does not want Young Ju to end up as Uhmma did, a fisherman's wife with no prospects for a better future. However, Young Ju does not understand the opportunities that she will have in Mi Gook and instead fixates on the different ways the Park family tries to assimilate to American culture, which she views with disdain. When Young Ju tries Coca-Cola for the first time and grimaces at its overly sweet and slimy taste, she thinks miserably "I do not care if we are a step from heaven. I take a big swallow of the hurting drink. This is not heaven" (27). It is clear that Young Ju is too small to understand the important cultural differences between Korea and America, and that her mother in particular wants them to move to America for the opportunities that Korea does not have for women and children.

While making a life in America, Young Ju is embarrassed that her family does not fit into American society comfortably and that her father's bitter attitude and the family lifestyle will impact her own reputation outside of their home. When Apa and Young Ju visit the Department of Immigration and Naturalization Services to renew Young Ju's green card, Apa's lack of understanding in their new culture becomes apparent as he attempts to converse with the English-speaking officials. Apa's stubbornness and unbridled temper does little to help the process move along smoothly, as "Ever since Apa had to go four times to clear up some mistake with Joon's Social Security number, he has become paranoid that people are trying to trick him" (87). Young Ju pleads with one official to do as her father says, even though the extra talking and movement is unnecessary, so that her father will not create a scene. Even though Apa knows that his adamant attachment to his Korean values, particularly his language, is a barrier to communicating and living in America, Apa refuses to cooperate and adhere to assimilating to the American culture. Even Young Ju realizes this as they return to the car, thinking "In that moment, when the papers pass from his hands to mine, our eyes meet and I know. His will always be a face washed and dressed by sun" (88). Here, Young Ju begins to acknowledge that their trek from Korea to America has not changed her father's stubborn ways, and that he will never fully become an American. Young Ju and the rest of her family will always be outcasts with her father in charge, never adhering to the American way of life, trapped in her father's stigma of Korean pride and dominance. Her embarrassment about her family's living situation and extreme difference from the rest of American society shows through her relationship to her friend Amanda, as "Amanda and her parents do not know where I live. We have always hung out at Amanda's house because I lied and said Uhmma and Apa owned a restaurant that kept them working long hours" (106). Young Ju is ashamed by her family so much that she cannot bear to tell anyone, even her best friend, about their living situation. She wants so desperately to fit in and have the life that Amanda and her other classmates have that she is willing to lie and create a false life as an escape from her painful reality.

Throughout A Step From Heaven, Young Ju and her family find themselves caught between the life they built in Korea and their new lives beginning in America. However, Apa's adherence to Korean values and attitudes keeps the family from fully adopting their new nationality and adjusting to the American way of life. Young Ju's shattered belief that "Mi Gook" will be Heaven begins to take root after Apa returns to Korea, as Uhmma tells Young Ju "You are my strong girl" (143). The hope that the word "Mi Gook" brought Young Ju initially starts to grow for her and the family again; finding comfort in her new culture, Young Ju begins a process of letting go of her painful past. 


Works Cited

Na, An. A Step From Heaven. Asheville, NC: Front Street, 2001. Print.

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Lindsay ______

English 271

Essay #2

Identity in FIOS

 

     People with cancer often begin to define themselves based on their experience with their illness; this self-definition through one’s cancer is one that the characters fear in John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars. The novel shows how the characters strive to discover their identities, but despite that are still identified by their illness. The novel also makes the argument that young people with cancer are not any more virtuous or different than other kids rather, they are just normal kids living with an illness. Augustus wants to be remembered and also be more than just a boy who battled cancer, but despite his efforts is still identified by his illness.
    

The character Augustus strives to not allow the cancer becomes his identity, rather to be remembered for something bigger than his illness. Augustus changes a lot from when he is first introduced at the beginning of the book till the final chapters before his death. When Hazel Grace first meets Augustus Waters at the support group she describes him as an attractive, strong and normal boy. It’s later during support group she finds out that he Augustus once suffered from cancer and is now in remission. He attends the support group only as a companion for his friend Isaac who is a few days away from losing his eyesight. As the support group discussions go on, Augustus is asked what his fears are and he replies “Oblivion” (12) Augustus wants his life to mean more, rather than to just be forgotten when he dies. After each support group meeting a prayer is said with the list of all the members who have passed away added at the end. “And we remember in our hearts those whom we knew and loved who have gone home to you; Maria and Kaden and Joseph…” (14). Shortly before Augustus dies, he admits that he doesn’t just want his name to be on the list after the prayer, he also wants it on newspapers. “You know… its kids’ stuff, but I always thought my obituary would be in all the newspapers, that I’d have a story worth telling. I always had this secret suspicion that I was special” (240). When Augustus and Hazel meet at his house after support group he shows her his medals and tells her the story of how he used to be a basketball player till the day he got diagnosed with osteosarcoma cancer, a type of bone cancer that spreads from one limb in the skeleton to another, which is why he has an artificial leg. Augustus also tells her about his family and sisters then asks her “’So what’s your story?’” she then then replies “’I already told you my story. I was diagnosed when-‘” He interrupts and says “’No, not your cancer story. Your story. Interests, hobbies, passions, etcetera… Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who becomes their disease. I know so many people like that. It’s disheartening. Like cancer is in the growth business, right? The taking-people-over business. But surely you haven’t let it succeed prematurely’” (32).
     

Augustus realizes that a lot of people let their cancer identify them, which it seems at first like Hazel does. Through the novel Augustus mentions multiple times how he wants his life to mean something other than cancer. “I fear that I won’t be able to give anything in exchange for my life. If you don’t live a life in service of a greater good, you’ve gotta at least die a death in service of a greater good, you know? And I fear that I won’t get either a life or death that means anything.” (168). Augustus wants so badly for his life to mean something other than his illness and he puts a lot of pressure on himself to make something of his life before he dies, this is most likely the reason he decides to give his wish from the make a wish foundation to Hazel who he had just met. His whole life he strives to be different and not allow the cancer becomes his identity.

    

Augustus views cancer differently from most other cancer patients, he fights to not let his illness control his choices or identity. Only a few weeks after Augustus and Hazel had met each other they do something extravagant mostly because they both know they have short lives to live, using Augustus’ wish they decide to leave for Amsterdam to meet the author of their beloved book Imperial Affliction which they have both bonded over. Before they leave Hazel overhears a conversation between Augustus and his parents “…but then I heard a voice that was definitely a twisted version of his say ‘BECAUSE IT IS MY LIFE, MOM. IT BELONGS TO ME.’”(139) It is later on discovered that the argument Augustus had with his mother was because they had just found out his cancer had come back again. He does not let his cancer define him, and he does not let it prevent him from doing the things he loves. Augustus insists on still going to Amsterdam despite the return of his cancer which is now terminal. He passes on the chance to stay and be weakened by the chemotherapy or trial drugs, even though he knows it could extend his life for a couple weeks. Augustus’ decision to make the brave choice shows how he as a character has become bigger than his cancer. At the airport Augustus and Hazel wait for their boarding call, but after a few minutes they both begin to feel uncomfortable because of all the people staring at them. Augustus then leaves to go get something to eat but ends up being gone for a while. “Listen, sorry I avoided the gate area. The McDonald’s line wasn’t really that long; I just… I just didn’t want to sit there with all those people looking at us or whatever.” (146). Augustus wants to be identified as more than a cancer patient, which is why he feels so uncomfortable being stared at. As much as Augustus wants people to see him as just a normal teenager, who he is, he and Hazel are still judged because of their illness. At the hotel in Amsterdam Augustus tells Hazel about the return of his cancer, she encourages him to be strong and battle the cancer. 
    

 “’What am I at war with? My cancer. My cancer is me. The tumors are made of me. They're made of me as surely as my brain and my heart are made of me. It is a civil war, Hazel Grace, with a predetermined winner.’… ‘If you go to the Rijksmuseum, which I really wanted to do—but who are we kidding, neither of us can walk through a museum. But anyway, I looked at the collection online before we left. If you were to go, and hopefully someday you will, you would see a lot of paintings of dead people. You’d see Jesus on the cross, and you’d see a dude getting stabbed in the neck, and you’d see people dying at sea and in battle and a parade of martyrs. But Not. One. Single. Cancer. Kid. Nobody biting it from the plague or smallpox or yellow fever or whatever, because there is no glory in illness. There is no meaning to it. There is no honor in dying of.” (217) 
     

While in Amsterdam their plans to discuss the book with the author Van Houten does not go as planned so they decide to tour the city instead. Their tour is cut short because both Augustus and Hazel are too weak to complete all the stairs. Augustus’ inability to complete the tour makes him angry because he wants to still be able to do the things he loves. Despite the struggle of his illness Augustus thinks so little of himself and his situation. He knows that the tumor is part of him no matter how hard he tries to be bigger than it.
     

In spite of his many attempts to not let his illness control him, the cancer overthrows his courage making him weak. When Hazel and Augustus return from Amsterdam, Augustus’ cancer worsens “He met me at the door in his wheelchair, no longer the muscular, gorgeous boy who stared at me at Support Group…” (235). As the cancer gets worse, Augustus still fights to be seen as a stronger person but Hazel no longer sees him the same way, rather now she feels pity for him although she as a cancer patient hates the pity look people give her. Despite his efforts to remain strong Augustus’s cancer still effects the way people see him, including Hazel. “He’d pissed the bed. It was awful. I couldn’t even look, really…” (240) in attempt to make the situation better Hazel says to him “’ I’ve pissed the bed before, Gus, believe me. It’s no big deal.’ ‘You used,’ he said, and then took a sharp breath, ‘to call me Augustus.’” (240). At one of Augustus’ weakest moment Hazel calls him Gus, a name which he is mostly only called by his parents and sisters, which he believes is because they see him as weak. Despite how hard Augustus tries to be strong once the cancer comes back the real and vulnerable Gus slowly starts to show. Everyone around him realizes that he is weak, but Augustus still insists on upholding a strong fort. “’I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes,’ he mumbled, ‘I lost my pack. Or they took it away from me. I don’t know. They said they’d get me another one, but I wanted… to do it myself. Do one little thing myself.’ He was staring ahead. Quietly, I pulled out my phone and glanced down to dial 911.” (244) Augustus leaves his house in the middle of the night to get a pack of cigarettes, Gus does not smoke but he likes the idea of being able to possess a weapon, the cigarette, which could kill him, but by not smoking it he does not give it the power to kill him. While on his trip to the gas station to buy the pack of cigarettes his G-tube malfunctions, after multiple failed attempts to fix it himself he decides to call Hazel to drive over and come help him. Augustus still insists she should not call 911. This is another one of Gus’ weakest moments, because of the malfunction of his G-tube he gets an infection and it is not until he starts to throw up uncontrollably that Hazel decides to call 911. Gus once again tries to be stronger than he actually is but his cancer takes over. He wants to be able to buy the cigarettes without the help of anyone but can’t. At this point Gus’ death is imminent which is why a few days later when Hazel gets a call she instantly know it’s about Gus. “Augustus Waters died eight days after his pre-funeral, at Memorial, in the ICU, when the cancer, which was also made of him, finally stopped his heart, which was also made of him.” (261) When Hazel writes about Augustus’ death she describes it as something that was part of him. He may have wanted to be known as more than a cancer patient but at the end the cancer is part of him, it’s part of his identity. Still after Augustus’ death his cancer defines him. “’In heaven, Augustus will finally be healed and whole,’ implying that he had been less whole than other people due to his lawlessness, and I kind of could not repress my sigh of disgust.” (271). Even during his funeral the priest makes a remark about Augustus not being whole enough which Hazel is disgusted by. Augustus wanted so badly to be heroic and have something to be remembered for, although this never truly happens he was able to change the lives of the people around him and no matter how hard he tried during his lifetime to be bigger than his cancer, it remains a part of his identity. Augustus, a former star athlete whose illness became his identity is an example of the reality of teenagers living with and dying from cancer. He goes from a high-spirited, confident, and attractive boy to a frail, terrified, and humiliated teen dying of cancer.
     

The title of the book The Fault in Our Stars is coined as a response to Shakespeare’s quote from the play Julius Caesar“Men at some time are masters of their fates,The fault, dear Brutus is not in our stars But in ourselves, that we are underlings” (Shakespeare 1.2.9) The quote suggests that unfortunate events happen not because of destiny but because of the fault in characters. The three main teenage characters in this book suffer from a fate, which has in no way been caused by their actions but rather their destiny. Unlike the other characters Augustus fights to not let his destiny impact his choices, he strives to be seen as more than his illness. Augustus goes through the same struggles as any normal teenager and also the struggles of a cancer patient. Though his fate won the battle, till his death he fought being defined by his illness. 

Word Count: 2201

Work Cited

Green, John. The Fault in Our Stars. New York: Dutton, 2012. Print.

Mabillard, Amanda. Quotations from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. Shakespeare Online. 26 Feb. 2013. < http://www.shakespeare-online.com/quotes/juliusquotes.html >

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Raquel T_________

Eng 271

Emotional Repression in Shizuko’s Daughter

Women in Japan are traditionally stay at home mothers. They are responsible for taking care of the household, along with raising children. In Shizuko's Daughter by Kyoko Mori, Hanae is the ideal second wife for Yuki's father. She is the embodiment of the traditional Japanese wife. However, Hanae struggles like Shizuko and Yuki. Shizuko was not fulfilled in her role as a Japanese wife, and committed suicide. Shizuko’s daughter Yuki has learned everything she knows from her mother, and is the antithesis of her culture. After her mother’s death Yuki exhibits her individuality in an untraditional way. Not being able to conform to what Japanese culture dictates as acceptable women, Hanae, Shizuko, and Yuki all experience emotional repression.

            Shizuko committing suicide is an example of her repressing her emotions. She was unhappy in her marriage, and rather than confront her husband Hideki she lets her unhappiness take over her life. In Japanese culture it is acceptable for the husband to keep a second home, and the wife is supposed to be okay with that. But, Shizuko was not a wife who could conform to this tradition. I think that she wanted a household full of love, and was beside herself when she begun to realize Hideki was not being faithful. Before her death Shizuko couldn’t even write the way she really felt about her husband in the note that she was going to leave him, “’I am almost happy at this last hour,’ she repeated the last words of her note to her husband, ‘and I wish you to be.’ No, she thought, I cannot say that. That is a lie” (7). She didn’t want him to be happy. It is safe to assume that she killed herself, because she could not tolerate being with a man who was mentally checked out of his family. He was giving Hanae all that Shizuko wanted. She wanted him to be present, dedicated, and loving. I think that given the chance to write her note again, she would have written exactly how she felt about him. However, she ripped up the note entirely. Which, I see as an act that communicates her feelings towards him entirely. She left him with no last words, no last heartfelt reassurances. Which, reflect her feelings of resentment towards him.  Shizuko could have reached out to her family, or a counselor. She could have divorced her husband, or confronted him about his affair. But, instead her unhappiness grew like a weed in her mind, and killing herself became her only way out. Repressing her feelings of unhappiness blinded her understanding of how her daughter would respond to her death. If she had taken steps to express her feelings, she could have saved her daughter from having to deal with her death at such a young age.

            Hanae gives the impression of a wife who has it all. She keeps up appearances so that no one would see how damaged her house hold really was. She keeps the house extremely tidy, makes sure that dinner is on the table for Hideki, and tries to enforce respectable behavior for Yuki. But, in doing so I think that she is repressing her true emotions. Hanae was trying to get Yuki to like her in the beginning, “’I’ve known your father for a long time because we worked in the same office. But there was nothing between us, and there’s no reason for you to be angry at us. I want all of us to be happy together.’” (17). I don’t think she ever really cared about Yuki. This is an example of her repressing the way she truly feels. Hanae and Hideki would prefer that Yuki wasn’t there at all, but since she is, she must play the caring stepmother to a child that isn’t hers. She was repressing her feelings of loathing towards Yuki, and Shizuko to appear as a good mother to Yuki, and a good wife to Hideki. But, she too became overwhelmed by her feelings. She started to yell at Yuki for being disrespectful, fought with Hideki over his daughter, and was slowly destroying every evidence of Shizuko and Yuki. By destroying their belongings, I think she believed she could repair her relationship with Hideki. If they were constantly surrounded by Shizuko’s things, it would be a constant reminder of her death. I think she felt Shizuko was in the house cursing their marriage. Hanae begun to realize that it could only be her, and Hideki. That would be the only way for her marriage to work. Hanae is also repressing her feelings of anger towards Hideki for not letting her bear his children when they began their affair. She begins to blame him for her infertility, and for not setting up a second household with her. I think that she was trying so hard to be the perfect wife, that when things weren’t going her way she would have explosive rage. And, she would hide her feelings from people, so they wouldn’t look down on her as a wife, and stepmother.

            Yuki has always been testing her role as a girl, and daughter of Japan. She fights with boys, she’s outspoken, and doesn’t like to pretend with people. But, when her mother dies I don’t think she fully lets herself deal with it. Her aunt Aya, her father, and her stepmother expect her to behave in a certain way. Which, most of the time she disregards by acting out. But I think in doing so it only distracts her from confronting what is really troubling her. She focuses on her school work, and track, which can appear as signs of her moving on. But, she is repressing her feelings of grief and anger. She confines to her grandmother, “I’ve been so awful ever since Mama died. I don’t know why. It’s like I just can’t stop being that way” (87). In the event of her mother’s death, traditionally she would not be able to see her mother’s family unless her father gave permission. If her father allowed her to see them often, then people would think that he is not over Shizuko or is responsible for her suicide. Japanese custom also would have expected her to live with her father and his new wife, and accept her as her new mother. But, Yuki cannot conform to that idea. That would mean she would have to act like her mother never existed, and lose contact with half of her family. I think that by her moving out she can be in an atmosphere where she can think about her situation, and embrace her feelings about her mother’s death. She doesn’t have the personality to conform to what her culture expects of her, and I think that is in large part due to her mother. She was raised by a woman who also couldn’t bear to conformity in her country, and that was passed down to Yuki. Unlike Shizuko, Yuki can see her way out. She doesn’t let herself stay in the house of two people that didn’t want her there. She was able to find support from her grandparents, and from Isamu. I think that having the means to get out of her situation set her apart from her mother, and also allowed her to heal from her emotions of anger and loss.

            If Shizuko, Hanae, and Yuki were not subjected to the expectations of Japan things would have turned out differently. Shizuko would have lived given the proper help, and could have left Hideki. She wouldn’t have to bear his affair quietly. Hanae could have been with Hideki differently, if Shizuko had left him. They could have been together freely, and had children of their own. Hanae wouldn’t have had to hide her feelings from the society that would have ruined her reputation. Yuki wouldn’t have had to suffer the loss of her mother. Even though she still found a way to strive, she could’ve had her mother there to see the woman she would become. Each of them experienced some form of emotional repression, and the effects of that changed them forever. In good ways, and bad ways they fought against what their culture dictated as being acceptable women in Japan.

 

 

Works Cited

Mori, Kyoko. Shizuko's Daughter. The Random House Publishing Group, 1993.

Tatikian, Suzanne. JAPAN'S FAMILY/HOUSEHOLD PATTERNS, www5.csudh.edu/global_options/375Students-Sp96/Japan/FamilyHouseholds.html.

 

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Michelle ___________________

ENG 271

Essay #2

The Impact of Indifference and Avoidance in Family Dynamics: Shizuko’s Daughter

The novel Shizuko’s Daughter, by Kyoko Mori, is about a young Japanese girl named Yuki, whose mother Shizuko committed suicide when Yuki was 12 years old. Her father Hideki remarried shortly after Shizuko’s death, and this novel covers Yuki’s school years with Hideki and Hanae, and the relationships Yuki has with her family members during this time. Hideki’s attitude of avoidance and indifference makes him one of the people most responsible for the dysfunctional family life we see portrayed in Shizuko’s Daughter. His indifference towards his daughter Yuki begins well before his wife Shizuko’s suicide, continues through his marriage to his mistress Hanae, up until Yuki abruptly leaves for college. This indifference negatively impacts Yuki and Hanae’s relationship, as Hideki neither defends nor reprimands Yuki or Hanae for their behavior. Rather, he keeps quiet and pretends he does not see the bitterness and resentment the two women have for each other. He is more concerned about what others will think than he is about his wives, both Shizuko and Hanae, and daughter, and the relationships they culture in his absence.

When Yuki comes home to find her mother unconscious, she immediately calls her father, who tells her “not to call an ambulance and create a commotion—he would fetch a doctor himself and come home immediately” (9). This also supports the thought that Hideki cared more about what others would think than about his wife and daughter. Rather than supporting Yuki in this terrible moment and rushing home to check on her, he tells her not to create a commotion. He doesn’t call an ambulance, which would most likely arrive earlier than the doctor. This also shows that his first thought wasn’t about Shizuko’s life, it was about not creating a commotion with an ambulance, because what would people think?

Yuki knows that the reason her mother Shizuko committed suicide was because Shizuko knew that Hideki was having an affair. Shizuko thinks about it as she writes her last letter to Hideki, “[Please forgive me] …As I have forgiven your coldness…all the hours and days you were too busy to spare for Yuki and me, even the nights you have spent with another woman” (5). Hideki was absent for so much of Yuki’s life, even Yuki at her young age realizes Hideki’s indifference towards her and Shizuko. When Yuki is brought back home to live with Hideki and Hanae, she says, “It’s all a lie, the whole thing. They know I want to stay in Tokyo with [Aunt Aya], and they’d like it that way too. They don’t care about me. They only came to see me twice the whole time I was with you. They’d as soon be by themselves. Only they won’t do it because it would look bad. People would talk” (23-24).

Yuki and Hanae’s relationship started off poorly, with Yuki deliberately breaking the wedding bowl, as she compares her breaking it to her father breaking her mother’s rice bowl (26). Hanae tries to talk to Yuki while she is getting ready for her wedding, but all Yuki can think about while Hanae is talking is what Shizuko had written in her letter to Yuki. “’You were very fond of your mother, weren’t you?’ the bride said. Yuki remained silent. In spite of this, her mother had written…please believe that I love you” (16).

After the wedding, Yuki and Hanae’s relationship continued to disintegrate. “Your mother would have been proud’ was a great compliment, the highest form of praise. As for Yuki’s father and his wife, they never mentioned her mother. They said very little of anything to her. There were days when hardly any words passed between Yuki and either of them” (44). Yuki, her father, and Hanae barely have a relationship. They don’t come to any of her track meets, or compliment her on her achievements.

The last time her stepmother had really talked to her was more than a year ago. ‘Please don’t keep asking me so many questions about what you can do to help me’ [Hanae] said. They were in the midst of dinner and her stepmother had suddenly put down her chopsticks and turned to her. ‘If you have to ask, then there’s no point in it. What’s the use of having you help me clean if you can’t even tell me when things are clean or dirty, if you have to ask? If you can’t do it without being told, then just try not to get in my way. And don’t talk so much all the time. I’ve put up with it so far because I heard that you were a very smart child and maybe smart children talk more than not-so-smart ones. But I’m sick of it. I’ve really had enough.’…Yuki had sat with her father, who went on eating in silence as though nothing had happened. Since then, Yuki and her stepmother had never said much to each other. (49-50)

Hideki never says a word to reprimand Hanae for the way she talked to Yuki, nor anything to Yuki to try to reassure her that she was a good daughter and student. This indifference could cause the rift between Yuki and Hideki to increase, as Hideki continues his attitude of indifference to Yuki and avoidance of any conflict.

The hatred between Yuki and Hanae continues to grow, as Hanae is reminded of Shizuko every time she cleans the house. Hanae refuses to clean the attic because she sees all of the boxes Shizuko has packed away, all neatly labeled. She is reminded of all of the years Shizuko had with Hideki, while she had to keep her relationship with Hideki secret. “All that time, the woman had had a house to herself, an attic to fill up with all the silly things she felt like saving. The thought made her so angry that soon Hanae gave up the thought of even cleaning the attic and avoided going there at all” (92). Hanae grieves for the life she could have had and lost when she stayed with Hideki, and the life she has now. She is constantly reminded of Shizuko and Hideki’s marriage every time she sees Yuki, every time she cleans. This grief drives her bitterness towards Yuki, to the point that she shoves Yuki down the stairs.

When their eyes met again, Hanae leaned forward and gave Yuki a hard push. Oh, [Hanae] thought to herself, she would have killed me if I hadn’t pushed her just in time; there was madness in her eyes. ‘Don’t worry’ [Yuki] said, her voice harsh and low, ‘I won’t tell Father about how you tried to push me down the stairs. He won’t believe me. But I’ll never forget myself.’ (99-100)

This incident shows how both Yuki and Hanae understand Hideki’s ways, how he avoids conflict and is indifferent to the relationship Yuki and Hanae have. Rather than going to Hideki for support, Yuki acknowledges the fact that Hideki wouldn’t do anything to resolve the situation, much less even believe Yuki. This incident proceeds to drive an even bigger wedge between the two women.

Hanae also thinks of Hideki’s indifference to Yuki when she thinks about Hideki and Yuki’s relationship.

That was what she hated most about him—he did nothing to discipline Yuki. It wasn’t that he took her side…Instead, he avoided her altogether. He did not exchange more than a few words with her every week, and those few words he managed came out of absolute necessity…If he were a better husband, he would interfere on her behalf…Instead, he thought only of his own convenience and avoided her. (96)

The fact that Hideki pretends that Yuki doesn’t exist, and doesn’t do anything to discipline Yuki or teach her to respect Hanae as Yuki’s stepmother, increases the barrier between Hanae and Yuki. Hanae knows that Hideki isn’t choosing Yuki over her, but is frustrated with his indifference and avoidance of conflict.

Hideki and Hanae’s fear of what other people think influence Yuki’s desire to go to college far away from all of her family.

You have to understand…I need to go to school far away. I couldn’t go to the national university or any other school in Kobe because my father and his wife wouldn’t let me move out of their house. They would worry about what people would say; people would think it strange for me to be moving away from home to go to a school only twenty minutes away by train. If I go to Nagasaki…they don’t have to lose face on my moving out on them.” (133)

Yuki choses to go to school in Nagasaki so she is not forced to continue to live with Hideki and Hanae. If she goes far away to school, she has a reason to live on her own, which saves Hideki and Hanae from the neighbors talking. She is ready to break free from Hideki’s indifference and Hanae’s bitterness, and start living her life away from her parents.

            Hanae continues to be frustrated by Hideki’s indifference to Yuki, even after Yuki leaves. A few days after Yuki’s departure, Hanae confronts Hideki after he comes home from work. “You anger me…the way you were with her. You had absolutely no authority over her…But you know what the neighbors are thinking even this moment. They’re thinking that I drove her away from her own house because I was a bad stepmother” (150). Hanae feels that if Hideki had put forth a little effort to control Yuki, or at the very least discipline her, Yuki may have been more respectful towards her.

            When Yuki leaves for good, Hideki feels a sense of relief. He no longer has to pretend Yuki lives in their house, that he has a daughter. He doesn’t have to argue with Hanae over Yuki’s behavior, behavior that he does nothing to change. “He had felt a surge of relief, and immediately thereafter, a sense of annoyance and guilt—guilt…about being glad to have her gone” (152). His immediate reaction to Yuki leaving shows how poor of a father he was to Yuki, to be relieved to have his only child gone, possibly forever, to never speak to her again. His absence from her childhood reflects his absence from her future, only this time, his absence is Yuki’s choice, not Hideki’s.

            If Hideki had disciplined Yuki to show more respect to Hanae, and spoken to Hanae about treating Yuki with more respect, the relationship between the two women may have differed greatly. However, Hideki’s indifference to Yuki’s behavior only made Hanae angry and made Yuki lose even more respect for both her father and her stepmother. Both Yuki and Hanae are aware of Hideki’s feelings of indifference and avoidance, and are irritated by these feelings. Both women are also aware of his concern of what others would think. This is one reason why Yuki leaves the way she did, because she knows if she were to try and stay close by, he would make her continue to live in his house, not out of concern for her but concern for what people would think. Hideki’s behavior towards both women frustrate them, as neither feels that he is making the other woman take responsibility for their actions. The attitude of indifference and avoidance that Hideki has negatively affects Hanae and Yuki, and their relationship.

Word count: 1894

Works Cited

1.      Mori, Kyoko. Shizuko’s Daughter. Ballantine Books, 1993.

 

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Crystal____________

Tricia Lincoln

English 271

Depression: An Internal Battle between Self and Culture

Death is a scary thing for many people, as a result a cancer diagnosis is a depressing thought. In the book The Fault in our Stars by John Green, the main character is a girl named Hazel Grace. Hazel has been living with cancer since the age of thirteen. Her cancer is of the incurable variety and though the doctors have found a medicine that is keeping her alive there is no medicine that will completely cure her cancer. Her lungs are weak and as a result she has to tote oxygen around with her everywhere she goes. Hazel is not capable of running around or being overly active because of her badly damaged lungs. It is easy to see how a life led with imminent death hanging over your head could be distressing. How having cancer and living with all the restrictions and pains that come from cancer could cause a person to be depressed. In the beginning of the book Hazel's mother is concerned with her daughters' involvement in the world, Hazel says "my mother decided I was depressed, presumably because I rarely left the house, spent quite a lot of time in bed, read the same book over and over, ate infrequently, and devoted quite a bit of my abundant free time to thinking about death” (3). One would assume that Hazel is depressed because she has cancer and is going to die, but I don't think Hazel is depressed because of her circumstances. Hazel is depressed because she doesn't know how to be anything but a girl with cancer. The culture of death surrounds her and she has lost touch with who she is outside of that culture. Finding out who you are: what you feel, believe, and desire is part of growing up. Figuring out who you are as an individual can be difficult when you're stuck in letting your culture be the only definition you have of yourself as a person. Hazel Grace is depressed not because she is dying, but because she is struggling with defining herself outside of the culture of death and dying.

 

At first it appears that the thing depressing Hazel is her condition. Hazel's mother takes her to see a doctor about her depression, and the doctor recommends medicine and a weekly Support Group. The idea of a support group is that discussing what is bothering you with other people who are going through the same things and can relate, will help a person deal with the pain caused by the circumstances. Hazel describes how support group goes "The hour proceeded apace: Fights were recounted, battles won amid wars sure to be lost; hope was clung to; families were both celebrated and denounced; it was agreed that friends just didn't get it; tears were shed; comfort proffered” (11). Support group was a place where Hazel could meet other cancer patients who are going through the same struggles in life as she is. Support group does not seem to be helping Hazel though, as she states "The Support Group, of course, was depressing as hell” (4). If her condition was the thing causing her depression then having the support and comfort of others should have helped, but she expresses that support group itself is depressing.

 

Support Group doesn't help in Hazel's case because her depression isn't about having cancer, so stories of hope and comfort from others dealing with cancer was not the answer. The fact that she finds group "depressing as hell” (4) suggests that being constantly surrounded by reminders of the culture of dying that she lives in is more of a factor in her depression than the actual disease. Hazel describes how sharing in her Support Group goes "Then we introduced ourselves: Name. Age. Diagnosis. And how we're doing today” (5). An introduction like this forces a person into the trap of defining themselves by their diagnoses. An introduction is meant to tell those around you who you are. This introduction causes Hazel to define herself by specifically using her disease as a part of her introduction. Being defined by her disease is exactly the trap that Hazel needs to escape in order to find more happiness in her life, but Support Group only reinforces her current definition of self through culture. That is why support group only depresses her more.

 

Hazel doesn't initially realize that she is defining herself through her disease. While having a discussion with a boy named Augustus, whom she met in support group, she figures out that she is stuck in defining herself through the culture of death and dying. Gus asks her to tell him more about herself, and she begins to retell how she was diagnosed; but Gus interrupts her exclaiming, "No, not your cancer story. Your story. Interests, hobbies, passions, weird fetishes, etcetera ... Don't tell me your one of those people who becomes their disease” (32). This is when she realizes that she is one of those people, and that her only way of defining herself is as a cancer patient. Prior to this moment Hazel never realized how much the culture surrounding her has shaped her definition of herself.

After her encounter with Gus, Hazel begins to question her own definition of herself in more depth. She is now able to see how others in her position have been stuck with this false definition as well. Hazel uses her computer to look up Gus' prior girlfriend Caroline, who had passed away after a lengthy battle with cancer. In looking at how people remember Caroline, Hazel discovers that "I couldn't see her very clearly amid all the tributes, but ... she seemed to be a professional sick person, like me, which made me worry that when I died they'd have nothing to say about me except that I fought heroically, as if the only thing I'd ever done was Have Cancer” (100). She sees the similarities between herself and Caroline, and worries that who she is will also be lost in the end because the only way that other people will remember her is as a cancer patient. Hazel realizes that she is more than that. She is a daughter, an intelligent young girl who is already attending college at the age of seventeen, a friend, a girlfriend, and so much more than cancer patient. She realizes that she wants to be remembered as a whole person, not just someone who had and fought cancer.

Hazel starts to fight for a more complex identity for herself. She explores how things get stuck with a single definition by considering the definition culture places on eggs, "I mean seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an egg, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich” (137). I think she feels like scrambled eggs, in that she is also stuck with being defined as only one thing, a girl with cancer. She is beginning to question why a single definition has to apply to anything. Bacon is a breakfast food just like eggs and yet they are accepted as being more than a breakfast food. She actively pursues this argument with those around her because she feels that if she can convince others that eggs are more complex than the way our culture views them, then she too is more complex than the cultural definition she is stuck with.

 

Hazel is beginning to see herself in a new light and finding out what makes her unique and special, she is finding her individuality outside of how culture defines her. Gus tries to explain that eggs are singled out not in a bad way but because they are special, he declares "You can get yourself some bacon or cheese anywhere anytime, from tacos to breakfast sandwiches to grilled cheese, but scrambled eggs-they're important” (145). Hazel doesn't want to be important because of cancer though. She is beginning to see that she is much more than that. Her counter argument to Gus is "You're arguing that the fragile, rare thing is beautiful simply because it is fragile and rare. But that's a lie, and you know it” (145). She doesn't want to be seen as special because of something she can't change, something she has no effect on. If she is to be remembered a special it shouldn't be because of her circumstances but because of who she is as an individual.

 

Hazel has finally realized that identity is much more than a cultural definition. She is special, but not because of something that happened to her, because of the person she developed into. Culture is a part of your background that may play a part in building your character; but individuality and choice define a person more than the unchangeable circumstances of life. Cancer happens to a person, it is a circumstance like all culture is. No one chooses what color skin they have, or which religion they will be raised in, or how financially stable their childhood will be. These things determine your culture but circumstance and culture happen to you and are unchangeable. Who you are, what you believe, how you react, are all things that depend on you. Using culture to define yourself is a form of pseudo-reasoning because culture is arbitrary. Hazel and Gus realize this while discussing a museum they had wanted to visit and how all the people that are remembered on the walls of the museum had a great battle to be remembered for. Gus points out that while visiting the museum "You would see a lot of dead people...But. Not. One. Single. Cancer. Kid. Nobody biting it from plague or small pox or yellow fever or whatever, because there is no glory in dying of” (217). He points out that though people call those who've fought cancer brave and heroic, it doesn't make a person special; and no one remembers those who've died from cancer as being heroic in the long term. It is a thing that happens to you, not a battle you choose, so it does not make you special. 

Hazel further pushes this idea further after Gus dies and the tributes start pouring in for him. She reminds people that "Augustus Waters did not die after a lengthy battle with cancer. He died after a lengthy battle with human consciousness, a victim-as you will be-of the Universe's need to make and unmake all that is possible” (266). She points out her conclusion to the battle she has been fighting all along. She wasn't depressed because she was dying, everyone will die. Death is another circumstance of life. His battle with cancer wasn't the battle that defined him, it was merely something that happened to him. The battle with human consciousness is one everyone fights whether death is near or not, we all struggle to define ourselves through this battle. It is the things we choose that define us, not the things that happen to us. 

 

Hazel comes to terms with who she is by the end of the book. She is getting out of the house more, living her life more fully and no longer exhibiting the signs of depression that her mother was so worried about in the beginning. She is still dying and she still has cancer, but she has figured out that the culture that surrounds death and dying is not what defines her. Her depression wasn't caused by her battle with cancer, an exterior force in her life. It was caused by her battle within, her struggle to find herself and who she was outside of the culture of death and dying. This is why adolescence is considered such a turbulent time in most people's lives, because it is the first time that a person explores the question "who am I”, beyond the limits of culture. It is the first time that a person is old enough to understand that they are more than what they are taught. Who you are is a personal choice, perhaps based on culture, but what you decide to become, the things that truly define you as a person, these things are a personal choice not forced on you but chosen by you. Culture is an influence, but individuality is a choice. Who you are, or who you will become is a matter of choice, influenced by culture, but decided only by self. This internal battle is what defines a person, the battle can cause great distress but the conclusion is worth the struggle. Hazel was depressed by the battle but was rewarded in the end by finding out that she was more than she gave herself credit for.

 

Works Cited

Green, John. The Fault in Our Stars. New York: Penguin Group, 2012. Print.